As reported by Jeff Levi.
Washington, D.C. –- A spokesperson for the intelligence community has now confirmed that all evidence tying officials to corruption and foreign influence peddling has been destroyed. Calling it an accidental data breach, the expert, who spoke on conditions of anonymity, said a government goat that had been restricted to an agency compound following his debrief from a recent mission, had wandered off after its handler left the goat unattended while he went to the Southern Hemisphere for a cup of coffee.
“What did you expect a goat would do with all that time on its hands!?” asked a clearly exasperated senior Democrat in charge of intelligence oversight.
A charge of negligence has already been raised, but the motive is uncertain. Republicans, though, were quick to blame coffee growers in Peru.
According to reports, the goat, now in custody, maintains his innocence and yet is apparently still hungry.
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